1. |
Dementia
02:57
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Where’s my keys, can’t find my shoes
Where is my jacket, where are my blue jeans
I’m fucking naked, what do I do
Aaahhh aaahhh
What’s my name, where is my family
How’d I get here, is that my dog
Are you my girlfriend, are you my neighbor
You look familiar I’m so confused
Aaahhh aaahhh
What’s todays date, who is the president
Am I human, am I from space
All I know is that I know nothing
I feel like the end is near
Aaahhh aaahhh
Aaahhh aaahhh
Aaahhh aaahhh
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2. |
Hairy Elephant
02:11
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I knew a lady, she lived in a zoo
So many animals did not know what to do
I knew a lady, she lived in a zoo
So many animals did not know what to do
But she had a favorite
she had a favorite a pachyderm
she had a favorite a pachyderm
And it was hairy, oh so hairy
Hair on the bottom, the back and the front
It was a hairy elephant
Hair on the bottom, the back and the front
And it was hairy, oh so hairy
Hair on the bottom, the back and the front
It was a hairy elephant
Hair on the bottom, the back and the front
And it was hairy, oh so hairy
Ooooh hairy
Ooooh hairy
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3. |
Hey Is For Hemorrhoids
03:06
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It hurts when I sit, it hurts when I shit
It hurts all the time
I’m talkin’ ‘bout my ass, it feels like broken glass
I think I’m gonna lose my mind
I can’t tell which is worse, the blood or itchy curse
I just want to make it end
I’ve tried a big, warm tub, I’ve tried a creamy rub
It seems like nothing is my friend
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey is for hemorrhoids
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey is for hemorrhoids
So please don’t go down there, amongst my curly hair
And take a look at my brown eye
Just shut the bathroom door, don’t come ‘round here no more
I think it’s time I said goodbye
(Whistle)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey is for hemorrhoids
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey is for hemorrhoids
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey is for hemorrhoids
Hey, hey, hey, hey
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4. |
Lactose Intolerant
01:01
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Gonna eat some ice cream, gonna eat some pizza
Gonna eat a block of cheese and then I’ll shit my pants
Gonna eat some ice cream, gonna eat some pizza
Eat a quesadilla then I’ll shit my pants
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah lactose intollerant
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah lactose intollerant
Gonna shit my pants now
Ate a lot of cheese
Chased it with some milk yeah
Gonna shit in my pants
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5. |
I'll Take A Tums
02:30
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Esophogeal cancer, it is a real threat
If I don’t get my GERD under control, it will kill me on that you can bet
I’ll take a Tums
I’ll take a Tums
I’ll take a Tums
Hot pastrami was a bad idea, so close to bed I’ll never get to sleep
I need a cure to make the burning go away
I’ll close my eyes, my soul the lord can keep
I’ll take a Tums
I’ll take a Tums
I’ll take a Tums
Pepperoni pizza, hot pastrami sandwich
BBQ sliders and a large cup of Joe
Pepperoni pizza, hot pastrami sandwich
BBQ sliders and a large cup of Joe
Pepperoni pizza, hot pastrami sandwich (I’ll take a Tums)
BBQ sliders and a large cup of Joe (I’ll take a Tums)
Pepperoni pizza, hot pastrami sandwich (I’ll take a Tums)
BBQ sliders and a large cup of Joe (I’ll take a Tums)
Pepperoni pizza, hot pastrami sandwich
BBQ sliders and a large cup of Joe
Pepperoni pizza, hot pastrami sandwich
BBQ sliders and a large cup of Joe
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Steve Agee Los Angeles, California
Steve is an actor, comedian, photographer living in Los Angeles, California since 1995
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